Chuck Norris Jokes!
So recently, I have been reading some Chuck Norris jokes. Well for those of you who don’t know who is he. Go googled for him! Back to the subject, all this jokes pack some punch! They are seriously hilarous!
Here are some to share with you guys,
Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.
CNN was originally created as the “Chuck Norris Network” to update Americans with on-the-spot ass kicking in real-time.
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool Chuck Norris once and he will roundhouse you in the face.
The opening scene of the movie “Saving Private Ryan” is loosely based on games of dodgeball Chuck Norris played in second grade.
Chuck Norris is responsible for China’s over-population. He hosted a Karate tournament in Beijing and all women within 1,000 miles became pregnant instantly.
When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
The original draft of The Lord of the Rings featured Chuck Norris instead of Frodo Baggins. It was only 5 pages long, as Chuck roundhouse-kicked Sauron’s ass halfway through the first chapter.
Hellen Keller’s favorite color is Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris was a baby, he didn’t suck his mother’s breast. His mother served him whiskey, straight out of the bottle.
The Bible was originally titled “Chuck Norris and Friends”
It is scientifically impossible for Chuck Norris to have had a mortal father. The most popular theory is that he went back in time and fathered himself.
Chuck Norris can judge a book by its cover.
Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its decendants are known today as Giraffes.
In a fight between Batman and Darth Vader, the winner would be Chuck Norris.
The original title for Alien vs. Predator was Alien and Predator vs Chuck Norris. The film was cancelled shortly after going into preproduction. No one would pay nine dollars to see a movie fourteen seconds long.
When chuck Norris does division, there are no remainders
And alot more at http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com
CHEERS!
